(Not) Instilling Confidence

A recent observation at a baseball game of 13 and 14 year old players. Late in the game, close score. The team that's losing is batting. Soundtrack would be Billy Joel "Pressure" if it were the 1980s. Point is, kid at the plate is already feeling the pressure of the situation. Kid is way down in their lineup, so apparently not one of their stronger hitters. He swings and misses. Coach (positioned at third base) hollers "You're not gonna hit anything looking at me!" A way of saying he pulled his head and wasn't in a good hitting position. Fair point BUT that struck me as a very unhelpful thing to say. As a not super strong hitter in a pressure situation, making him feel like he did something wrong isn't likely to boost his confidence.

I sound judgy, I acknowledge that. I'm certain I've said many unhelpful and unproductive things while coaching kids for the past 5 years. Just recently I saw a video of someone suggesting coaches avoid saying "You're due!" to a kid who's been struggling at the plate. It sounds supportive...suppose a player is in a mini slump and hasn't been hitting. You say "You're due" which might sound encouraging BUT the person in the video points out saying "You're due" reminds the kid he hasn't been hitting!!! I know I've used this phrase before and almost used it *this week* until I caught myself. 

I like when coaches keep it simple and stick to phrases like "You got this." A guy I coached with for a long time made a great change to his approach last year when a kid would be at the plate down in the count with 2 strikes. Usually coaches say things like "shorten up" when a kid has 2 strikes. It's not an aggressive mentality. Last year the coach changed his chatter in those situations to instead say "Stay aggressive" or "Attack" and I love that. I've since borrowed that and holler that when a kid is in that tough situation. "Stay on the attack" is a waaay different message than saying something that will make a kid feel like he's doing something wrong. Kids are already their own harshest critics. This is a reminder to myself and fellow coaches and parents to not make them feel worse about their performance.