Skills for Healthy Romantic Relationships

Here's a 16 minute video your students in Psychology, Sociology, and related fields might like. The speaker is Dr. Joanne Davila, Professor of Psychology and the Director of Clinical Training in the Department of Psychology at Stony Brook University (my alma mater). 

I showed this in my Sexuality & Gender course and it led to a good discussion. Dr. Davila mentions features of a healthy relationship (security, respect, good communication, feeling of being valued) and explains three skills that form the basis of what she calls "romantic competence": (1) Insight, (2) Mutuality and (3) Emotion Regulation. 

One of my favorite things that Dr. Davila says is “Mind reading is a terrible idea. It never works.” Don't expect your partner to know what you're thinking. Communicate! Mutuality is about communicating needs to each other and supporting each other. 

Dr. Davila also mentions features of unhealthy relationships: fighting so much that you can’t work things out, not being able to go to your partner for support, and contempt, criticism, hostility, violence.

John Sterling Retires

I'm a lifelong Yankees fan. I grew up watching Yankee games on WPIX, loving the banter between Phil Rizzuto and Bill White. I didn't listen to radio broadcasts until adulthood. I found radio broadcasts very comforting during my grad school years at Stony Brook University. There I was, an hour from Yankee Stadium, usually relegated to the library or my apartment studying and writing papers as a grad student in the Sociology Ph.D. program. It was then that I became familiar with the voice of John Sterling, who at that time was paired with Michael Kay. I loved their chemistry and was bummed when Kay switched to the television broadcast. But I continued to listen to the radio because Sterling was so good, and of course I enjoyed his home run calls and how he would call the end of a victory: "Thhhhhheeeeee Yankees Win!" I started listening to Sterling in my 20s and here I am in my 50s, still a huge fan. I went from listening alone to listening with my wife and kids during road trips. I'll miss his enthusiastic calls but just as much I'll miss his humor, his interactions with Suzyn Waldman, and his observations about the game. How do you explain an untimely error or a sudden slump? "That's baseball," as he liked to say. Totally agree. Sometimes you don't need a lofty or elaborate explanation. Sometimes you just express wonder about the game and appreciate what you are seeing. Sterling always conveyed his love and amazement for the game. Thank you, John.