A Society of People Playing By Different Rules

I witnessed something at Target a few weeks ago that still bothers me. I was there with my wife and kids. Kids are ages 8 and 5. The store was busy and the lines were long. A worker signaled for someone to move to a different line. Suddenly a man started yelling. I don't know if he was mad at a customer because he thought the customer cut in front of him, or if he was mad at the worker for the way she handled the line. He then shouted at the worker. He called her a bitch. He demanded to see the manager. She said "I am the manager." Meanwhile we completed our transaction and scurried out of the way so the kids didn't have to watch this man in action. 

The commotion around the checkout lines is something to be expected in a busy store. I don't know why the man went from zero to angry so quickly and why he insulted the worker with a slur. Aside from thinking "What the hell is going on here?" and "What's wrong with this man?" I also wondered if this was a preview of more vulgar behavior to come. I've written about vulgarity before. I don't think I'm making selective observations. I think there's some truth to saying we live in a vulgar society. I also wonder if the era we're heading toward is one of "I can say whatever I want to say." Maybe this is backlash against political correctness. We've all heard people gripe about political correctness. While a portion of society will continue to be careful and deliberate with their language, it could be that others will go the route of saying anything they want at any volume they desire. 

Many times I have seen people disrespect workers. I didn't view this episode as merely a matter of a customer being mean (and sexist) to a worker. It looked like an angry man who cared not for societal norms that call for civil behavior and measured language. I don't know what's going on. Maybe we're increasingly a society of people playing by different rules. 

The Vulgar Society

People seem to be getting more vulgar. Granted, it’s hard to measure vulgarity. So it’s not exactly scientific for me to say people are more vulgar than they used to be. All I can say is I observe a lot of vulgarity. Yesterday, while at the beach, I saw a guy with a t-shirt that said “I have a big….” Below the text was a graphic of a rooster. I have a big you know what. How clever. Today I drove alongside a car with a bumper sticker that said “Don’t be a dick.” The driver (a guy) also had a sticker on his car that said “Don’t be a bitch.” In terms of obscenity, he’s equal opportunity. Beyond these examples, I would like to point to the everyday use of curse words. How long do you have to be in public space before you hear someone swear? Five minutes? Ten? Don’t get me wrong, my language isn’t 100% clean. I swear. But I watch what I say in public. And by listening to what other people say in public, I have to say, people just love to (over)use foul language.

Original post: 7/17/11

Update: 9/4/11...

This morning I went to Panera (a mistake in itself, as walking into Panera makes me feel like I'm in the middle of a bad vacation). A group of older men were sitting around a table--keep in mind this is 7:45 a.m. One of them said "Mother****er" four times before I ordered. While waiting for my order I heard him drop at least three more F bombs. What kind of fool sits in a Panera on a Sunday morning and curses in every single sentence? Somebody help us all.

Update: 10/5/14...

Here are pictures I've taken that illustrate what I mean by the phrase "vulgar society":

2017 update: Donald Trump.