Hoping Our Budget Doesn't Blow Up

What is this unattractive food? It's the Beef Noodle Casserole I made a few days ago. Let's talk about how we got there.

On Sunday, our 5-year-old complained that his stomach hurt. Before long, he was sick to his stomach. A small bowl of crackers was about all he could handle. I ran to the store and grabbed egg noodles in case he'd be hungry later. I figured he might eat some plain or lightly buttered noodles. His appetite didn't come back by dinner, so we saved the noodles for the next day.

So what to do with those noodles? I googled around for recipes and came across an idea from Allrecipes.com. Not glamorous, and certainly doesn't pass the foodie test, but it turned out to be pretty tasty and I like meals that are budget friendly. Five bucks for the beef, two for the noodles, two for the cheese, one for the onion, one for the tomato sauce, 50 cents for the garlic. $11.50 thank you very much, with leftovers for lunch. When I use recipes from the web, I read the comments to pick up suggestions. One helpful tip was to use beef stock instead of water. I had beef stock on hand, so that worked. I added extra spices because some reviewers complained it was a bland dish. I didn't use the full package of cheese, yet it was still very gooey. I drained the beef before adding the tomato sauce and beef stock. I also added a bit of Worcestershire. If you can spell Worcestershire without looking it up, you're better than me.

This sounds like a paid advertisement for Allrecipes.com, It is not, though I will kindly take on sponsors. I have a student loan balance that I would like to pay. One reason for describing what I made is that the recipe reminds me of the recent Slate article, "If You Are What You Eat, America Is Allrecipes." It's a good read. The author observes that the popular recipes on the site reveal "most people are far more concerned with convenience and affordability than authenticity or novelty."

I love to cook. I try to make inexpensive, good-tasting meals. I prefer they include vegetables, and most of our dinners do. I have to be realistic about what our kids will eat. Budget, convenience, and the palates of children are key factors in our meal planning.

Budget takes on greater significance this year. We are trying to save for a family vacation. Last year we road tripped to Boston and Chicago, and the year before that we road tripped to New York City. But we'd like to leave on a jet plane in winter and end up somewhere with blue water and beach. The kind of vacation when you send postcards. And so we are being extra careful in what we spend. The budget smiles when a meal doesn't cost too much and leaves enough for lunch the next day. Our vacation fund is looking pretty good. But we're afraid there will be a surprise that empties the jar, like the scene in Up that makes me cry.

I write this as I await a call from an electrician with an estimate to do repair work. We have a few problems that need to be addressed. You know the feeling right before you hear what something is going to cost you? I'm just hoping the number is lower than the guesstimate I have in my head. The number in my head is one we can manage. Something a little bit higher will be hard to absorb. And anything higher than that means breaking the vacation jar.

Of course, life will go on if we don't get the postcard vacation. Expensive vacations are not something we expect or feel entitled to. We're fortunate to even have a realistic chance of taking a pricey vacation. If we stay frugal and don't encounter too many surprises the rest of the year, off we go.

My Report Card as a Father and Man

Am I a good father? What kind of man am I? I imagined how someone might grade me on a variety of categories as a way of reflecting about the meanings of "man" and "father."

OUTDOOR WORK
Schoepflin is pretty much a circus when it comes to doing work outside. He's not totally terrible at mowing the lawn, but it's evident that he dislikes almost every minute of it. He's clumsy and ineffective at weed-wacking. The guy doesn't even own a snowblower. He lives in Buffalo, for Christ's sake. How does this guy not have a snowblower? He half-heartedly brushes snow off his car in the winter months, and clears about 70% of the snow from his wife's car. What a prince. In the spring he doesn't plant flowers. He once considered planting vegetables, but never followed through. Overall, he demonstrates an appalling lack of interest in the outdoor area of his home. Grade: D

GRILLING
Schoepflin appears terrified of his grill. He can't turn on a gas grill on a consistent basis. He doesn't ruin hot dogs, but overcooks hamburgers, wrecks steaks, and produces uninspiring chicken. At least he's smart enough to avoid trying to grill kabobs. He complains about how hot it is to stand over a grill. When asked if he wanted a new grill for Father's Day, he was so dumbfounded by the question that he couldn't muster a response. Let me be blunt: when it comes to grilling, he's an embarrassment. Grade: F

GROCERY SHOPPING
This guy is right at home at grocery stores. He likes grocery stores. He glides through the aisles with a smile, hums to whatever song is playing on the store soundtrack (he has a noticeable pep in his step when Stevie Wonder is playing), chats with workers, small talks with fellow customers, and patiently waits in line. He wisely races through the middle aisles of the store in order to limit his purchase of processed foods. He knows how to pick produce, knows a good meat bargain when he sees it, and is excellent at reading labels. I swear I've seen him counting the number of ingredients when he grabs canned goods or an item from the frozen foods section. This guy is a triple threat: he can meal plan, stay within the budget, and is a health-conscious shopper. Grade: A

CHILD CARE
OMG, have you seen Schoepflin change a diaper? It's a thing of beauty. This guy should enter a diaper-changing contest. Methodical yet efficient. Smooth understates the matter. Graceful gets close to it. This fella knows what's he doing with diapers. My only criticism is that he needs 6-8 wipes for a poopy diaper. This guy is killing the environment and that fact must be taken into account in terms of a grade. Ok, so he's great at changing diapers on his 2-year-old, but what about the rest of it? Well, he sings to him, tickles him, totes him around when needed, and loves him up. This guy is pretty steady with the kids. I like what he has to offer his 5-year-old: he makes his lunches for school, teaches him to play baseball, encourages reading, and is very affectionate with him. He does get frustrated easily and has trouble living in the moment, but overall I like what I see. It does seem like he'd often rather be blogging or tweeting, but nobody's perfect. He puts his kids in front of the TV too much. To be fair, he sometimes uses TV to buy time to empty the dishwasher, do laundry, or cook dinner. Also, in an interview with his wife, she noted that he did his fair share of overnight feedings when the kids were babies. He also created original songs to sing to the boys at bedtime. Grade: B+

FIXING THINGS AROUND THE HOUSE
He can change a light bulb. What can I say, I'm trying to be nice. I don't want to sound like a hater, but this guy is useless around the house. If something needs fixing, you better look elsewhere. He's is powerless with power tools. To him, everything looks like a screw, only he can't use a screw gun. I'd say he has two left hands, but that's an insult to people with two left hands. I'd say he tries, but that's only slightly true. I guess I'd say fixing things doesn't come naturally to him, and he clearly shows a lack of interest in improving his skills. It's like, dare I say, fixing things isn't important to him. This isn't to say he doesn't appreciate people who are good at fixing things. In fact, he's impressed by people who are handy. He admires people who can get jobs done. It's just not a personal ambition or something he values for himself. It appears as though he'd prefer to spend time doing things that are important to him, like reading and writing. Because he can do a little bit of painting without falling off a ladder, he avoids an F. Grade: D

SUMMARY
In the big picture of parenting, I judge him as above average. He gives his kids room to grow but is happy to nurture and comfort them. He works hard to be very involved in all phases of his kids' lives. He volunteers as an assistant coach for his 5-year-old's t-ball team. He puts a lot of emphasis on making his kids laugh, having fun with them, playing with them, meeting their immediate needs, and coordinates everything with his wife. This is a report card of him, but for context it must be said that all major decisions are shared with his wife. They are a team. They are good at many of the same things, and bad at many of the same things. As I write this summary, it occurs to me that "above average" is a strange way to rate a person as a father or man. Who gets to decide what constitutes a good parent or good person? Who sets the baseline? What is below average and what would it look like? What's with all the rhetorical questions? Maybe it's time to pull back on our assumptions about concepts like "father" and "man." Truth be told, I don't think there is one set of things a man should do and a different set of things that a woman should do. Honestly, I don't see it that way. I guess I want to say that people do the best they can in this life. We should pay more attention to the things people do well. The best gift we can give people is to cast aside our stereotypical expectations.

A Good Day in the Life

5:50 a.m. Time to wake up, little Mack is ready to start the day. Ten minutes later, Troy comes down the stairs. I convince him to go back to bed for a few more minutes. By 6:30, Tina's up to get ready for work. She makes pancakes for Troy and is out the door by 8:00. Mack is already tired because getting up at 5:50 doesn't agree with him, but he does it every morning anyway. I put him down for a nap by 8:30. Troy and I make scrambled eggs, eat, then read a few books and do a few puzzles together. A little after 9:00, some guy shows up about a few home improvement projects we need completed. I thought he was coming tomorrow. No problem, Troy likes when anyone comes over, so he starts chatting up the contractor about camping and umbrellas. I'm still in my pajamas. The guy probably thinks I'm a real jerk. After he leaves, Troy watches a little TV and plays Angry Birds on the Kindle.

Mack's up around 10:30. Hmmm, what to do with a 1-year-old and 4-year-old on a 30 degree day? Yesterday we went to the library, the day before to the supermarket, what's left? The play area at the mall? Well, we did that Sunday, but I'm out of ideas. I put together a diaper bag (meaning I toss a diaper, wipes, and bottle of milk into a plastic grocery store bag) and we take off for the mall. They play for a bit and enjoy themselves. I take a picture on my cell phone. Troy looks like he's slapping Mack, but he's actually being gentle with his little brother. When they finish up, we eat lunch at the food court--Subway, lunch of champions. After our quick eats, we stroll through the mall, then head home.

I play peek-a-boo with Mack while Troy watches TV. I wash dishes, play with Mack, turn off the TV, then make sure the boys play nice together. "Be careful" I say, first to Mack, then to Troy, and realize I constantly warn them to be careful. I wonder if this will influence them to avoid risks in their adult lives, or throw caution to the wind instead. By 2:00 it's time for Mack's afternoon nap, so I put him down, then finish washing dishes, and take a Tylenol to stop the headache that's approaching. Troy and I color some pictures together. I color inside the lines, so does he. Is conformity genetic?

Mack wakes up after an hour. I microwave some peas and carrots and put him in his high chair. He throws the peas off his tray, which Troy runs over with his Batmobile. Good job, everyone. We have to leave soon because Troy has a medical appointment (another story for another time). I get ready, meaning I throw on a baseball cap. In getting the boys ready, a comedy of errors ensues. If this were a reality TV show, you'd only see the next ten minutes, with me starring in the role of the stumbling bumbling father. I get us back on track and we head out the door to meet Tina, who's meeting us directly from work.

The appointment goes well. Tina is with Troy during the appointment, while I hang out with Mack in the waiting room. Sociable Mack charms everyone for the next twenty minutes. When the appointment's done, it's dinner time. We're a parking lot away from the Anchor Bar, where chicken wings were born. Tina and I haven't been there in at least five years, so we figure what the hell, why not? Dinner is unhealthy and uneventful. Check please! Mack is ready to roll, so I take off with him while Tina settles the bill. We all meet home and get the boys ready for bed. Around 7:00, Tina puts Mack to bed while I wash bottles (a 1-year-old goes through quite a few bottles of milk in a day). Next is snack time for Troy, and the three of us relax until his 8:00 bedtime.

While Tina takes Troy upstairs and covers the bedtime routine, I work on this blog. The day is coming to a close. It's been a good day, as measured by the lack of bumps and bruises. No tantrums, no drama--I could use more days like this one! When Tina comes back downstairs, we watch a little TV and I finish up this blog. The clock strikes 9:00, and we're exhausted. Time for bed.

THE END

Author's note: this is a work of non-fiction.