Sunday, May 21, 2017

Champagne Weekend

"If you don't get the little things right, you can't get the big things right." I don't know if that's true but it's something I said in a parenting moment this weekend.

My 9-year-old's soccer team got destroyed. Whatever weekends used to be it doesn't matter except for useless comparisons. Weekends now are soccer and baseball games, birthday parties, and whatever else you can cram in between cleaning and loads of laundry. On Friday night we sat out in the cold watching soccer, with me mumbling "Bad News Bears" in reference to our team. That's not a nice thing to think or mumble but I'm human. I tried to say something useful in the car on the way home after the game: "It's not all about winning but winning feels better than losing and if you can't win at least make sure you worked hard. You can't control how good the other team is and how other people play but you can control your effort." Or something like that. Not exactly Vince Lombardi material and way short of inspiring but the reason I gave my kid the business is because his laces were untied for like the 1000th time. Dude, tie your laces and hustle, that'll make your old man happy.

Then came Saturday for 6-year-old's baseball game. All the 6-year-olds hit the ball after about 10 tries and we all clapped and hollered. I love baseball so much that I'll stand up and cheer if any kid on either team makes a clean play on a ground ball. Another thing that makes me happy is when they sell hot dogs at the park for a buck so after the game the Schoepflins crushed some hot dogs and shared a few milkshakes for good measure.

Through all of Friday night soccer and Saturday morning baseball I could barely stop sneezing and wiping my eyes because of wicked allergies. I'm embarrassed that my wife has to sit next to a sneezy guy blowing his nose who is mumbling about Bad News Bears and checking his phone to see if Trump is still president.

Post-milkshakes we chilled at home for a few hours and then made our way to a birthday party. We're blessed to have many friends, some of whom are lifelong friends. One of those friends invited us to a birthday party for one of his kids, so we got to enjoy a relaxing afternoon sitting outside in near perfect weather drinking the Champagne of Beers. If you think I'll ever pass up a chance to drink Miller High Life, you're dead wrong. There was a moment when my friends and I were drinking said Miller High Life and listening to seven ZZ Top songs in a row. Whatever life is or was or might be doesn't matter very much but in that moment everything was good and right.

When we got home the kids went to bed and wifey and me watched about 40 minutes of The Wizard of Lies with Robert De Niro playing Bernie Madoff and while it wasn't anything special I still think De Niro has that "it" quality and so what if he doesn't because dude has lifetime greatness guaranteed on Taxi Driver alone. I won't get too sidetracked talking about De Niro but I think his performance in Cop Land is underrated. By underrated I mean I never hear anyone say anything about him in that movie, but I'm here to tell you he's the second best actor in the film. First is Stallone.

Sunday morning was quiet and we went separate ways in the afternoon, with my wife and 6-year-old going to another birthday party and 9-year-old and me going to see the latest Diary of a Wimpy Kid movie. It was a ludicrous road trip film that felt like something of an homage to The Griswold family but as if it was written by Sherry Turkle. Sherry Turkle you see is someone who cautions against the overuse of technology and believes nothing substitutes for conversation and face-to-face interaction. And in this film the mom is all about the kids not using their gadgets. Even the dad is sneaking around with his phone because he needs it to make calls for work. When the mom realizes she is losing the War on Phones she is super pissed and declares she will no longer fight and it looks as though technology has won and family has lost but there was still 20 minutes left and the family rallied and came together for a happy ending. It was all ridiculous but ridiculous works for me something in the way that Miller High Life works for me so I laughed a lot during the movie when I wasn't stuffing popcorn in my face or checking my phone to see if Trump is still president.

After the movie we stopped at a store to buy potato chips, Bison dip, and tissues. I'm still wrecked with allergies so had to stock up and I'm going to see if my wife wants to skip dinner and go directly to chips and dip. Sometimes you gotta break routine. There's even a bottle of champagne in the fridge so maybe I'll bust that open because there's gotta be cause to celebrate something. Like the end of the semester or that it's still the weekend until midnight or just because I could say I had the Champagne of Beers on Saturday and then a little champagne on Sunday. Everything in moderation of course, I had like three beers on Saturday and maybe a glass or two of champagne tonight and that's probably it until the middle of next weekend.

Well everybody I hope you enjoyed this and I don't know if I'm doing parenting or husbanding right but I sure do try and I love my family and that is most definitely something to celebrate.

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